I grew up with three older brothers so I would have understood if Dad had not thought of speaking to me about what to expect when my first period would arrive.
Our conversation took place at the breakfast table on a school day. I used to love that time with my father & I eating together whilst the rest of the house was quiet. It was a time when the stress of the day had not overtaken any of us quite yet and we were still present to each other. It’s amazing what 15 mins does to recharge the battery of connection. If you are a dad reading this, I can’t tell you enough how a small pocket of time of pure presence is an elixir for the heart of your daughter. She will cherish that memory always as I do now.
Somehow the conversation did not seem strange or awkward to me. Dad & I used to talk a lot at breakfast; especially about history, geography, farming and what I was up to at school; with any remaining questions from me carried over in the car on the way to school.
That is the thing, Dad was a farmer, down to earth and in touch with the cycles of life because of his work. And so it’s how he engaged the conversation on ‘period’: biology, matter of factly. He wasn’t awkward about it so I didn’t feel awkward about it.
As I mentioned before, I am ever so grateful for him to approach the subject with me AND it lacked quite a bit of information; one of the most important is how living with a menstrual cycle changes your energy level & emotions/moods as we journey across the menstrual cycle.
It’s because of this very experience that I feel so comfortable to speak with fathers of daughters about how they can best support their daughters as they approach menarche & through puberty.
Fathers matter & have an important role to play in their daughters’ puberty. The moments shared with Dad have left an embodied imprint in me; I know in my bones that as fathers, you can also make a difference in how your daughter carries herself in life.
*Fathers are having a greater impact on their daughters’ academic and career choices than fathers in previous generations.
Fathers can shape their daughters’ mental health and relationships in adulthood - in turn these young women are more apt to have the kind of skills and attitudes that lead to more fulfilling relationships with men.
* Linda Nielsen is a professor of educational and adolescent psychology at Wake Forest University and the author of Father-Daughter Relationships: Contemporary Research & Issues
Now with the power of influence comes responsibility: will you be there for your daughter(s) / step-daughter(s)/ female guardian?
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