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My daughter knows very little about periods and reproduction. Will that be a problem for her on the day?Not at all, this is a perfect opportunity for her to come along and find out more. A Celebration Day for Girls is designed to meet the needs of all girls regardless of their prior knowledge and understanding of the reproductive workings of their body. Information is delivered in a clear but gentle manner, and a sense of respect and wonder is engendered in how our bodies work and mature. A range of materials and activities are used to engage girls and create a comfortable, interactive and fun day. An aim of the Day is to normalise menarche and menstruation for girls, and celebrate it in a way that encourages an ongoing positive relationship with their reproductive health. Facilitators are well trained and provide relevant, factual information and girls can ask questions in a relaxed, supportive environment. There is also an opportunity for girls to write down anonymous ‘curly’ or ‘embarrassing’ questions.
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My daughter has started her period. Can she still come to the celebration day?Yes! Of course! She is very welcome. Every girl is individual and comes to menarche according to her own body’s timing. In previous workshops we have had some girls who have started their periods and many who haven’t. While she has experienced her menarche, your daughter may now have some new questions about puberty and menstruation and will benefit from the multi-faceted approach of the Celebration Day. She may also like to share something of her experience with the other girls. That said we have utmost respect for each girl’s privacy and at no time do we ask that they share any of their personal experiences. In contrast to a reluctance in schools and our culture generally to speak openly and often about menstruation at the Celebration Day for Girls we aim to provide a creative, informed and fun day that supports a healthy, curious and open approach to this important and pervasive feminine experience.
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I have explained all about periods to my daughter; will she get anything out of the Celebration Day?As her mother you will remain her main source of information and guidance and in this your relationship with her is invaluable. A Celebration Day for Girls will build on the understanding each girl may already have and includes activities designed to strengthen an open connection between mother and daughter. The benefit of celebrating in a group is the experience that each girl and her mother bring to the day and as well as the unfolding group experience. The freedom to discuss periods with their peers in a safe and comfortable space helps to normalise periods for girls. Similarly hearing a variety of women’s stories adds to the richness of girls’ understanding. The celebratory aspect of the Day helps confirm for each girl that her experience of menarche is both entirely normal and one that is shared with all women, but equally, uniquely special. Many girls who have experienced a Celebration Day for Girls go on to share their experience of menarche with their friends and have gained insight into ways they can best care for themselves and support their peers. All in all A Celebration Day paves the way for a rich, positive and connected ongoing experience.
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What should I say to my daughter about it?There is no need to specially prepare her or say very much. You could lean on the title of the day and say, ‘it’s a special day for celebrating being a girl’. You could say, ‘it’s about puberty and growing up’. Or you could say, ‘it’s a fun and beautiful day, filled with lots of activities that you’ll find really interesting’. For some girls knowing this much is exciting and they can’t wait, and others may feel embarrassed at the thought of anyone talking about puberty and periods. We are familiar with and respect all the feelings that may arise for girls and find that within a short time girls are relaxed and enjoying the day’s activities and conversations. If your daughter has any anxiety about the day you can reassure her that at no time will she be asked to share anything about her personal experiences and changes.
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What do you do during a Celebration Day for Girls?During the Celebration Day we incorporate many different activities and conversations in order to honour a variety of learning styles, all of which weave into the themes for the day. These include: art and craft, mothers telling stories about their growing up experiences, fun activities and stories from a variety of cultures, conversational cards processes, sharing and building on our knowledge and understanding of puberty and the menstrual cycle in creative and affirmative ways, exploring practicalities of managing menstruation at school, at home and when we’re away from home, simple celebration and much, much more!
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I have had a very difficult time with my periods so it’s really hard to think of anything positive to say to my daughter. However I do want her to have a better time of it than me. Will Celebration Day for Girls help?Most definitely. An important, and perhaps unspoken, part of the Celebration Day for Girls is that mothers have the opportunity to re-dream a little of their own menarche and menstrual story as they gather with their daughters to celebrate. Many of us, partly because of cultural silence or even hostility to aspects of women’s bodies, along with inherited physical traits, have experienced a painful time with our periods, both emotionally and physically. In the Mother’s Session before the Celebration Day you will have an opportunity to express some of your own feelings about your experience of menstruation. Women have often found this sharing to be revelatory and insightful, both by sharing their own and hearing those of other women, and offers a path to a fresh new relationship with their menstrual cycle and female body. (Please note that while women generally find this valuable there is no compulsion at the Mother’s Session or the Celebration Day for Girls to share personal experiences.) Dr. Christiane Northrup, in her book Mother-Daughter Wisdom, says, “The mother-daughter relationship is the foundation of every woman’s health. It has more clout biologically, emotionally and psychologically than any other relationship in a woman’s life.” If you have had a difficult time with your periods you may not want to scare your daughter with graphic descriptions and the key to your support for her at this time is genuine communication and connection. You may like to share with her some of your experience in an age appropriate way as well as speak with her about how you want it to be for her. Allow ample time to hear her questions, ideas and concerns. The Celebration Day for Girls will gently and smoothly support this communication between you. A Celebration Day for Girls creates a space where girls can feel good about their journey toward inhabiting a woman’s body. As your daughter sits with friends (new or old) and a skilled facilitator she will imbibe a sense that she can experience menstruation each month in a positive way, and that, if she has discomfort or other menstrual problems she can get the support she needs. The Celebration Day for Girls facilitators have each undergone their own personal journeys with menstruation and have dedicated themselves to the rich practice of menstrual cycle awareness. Through this process they have become passionate educators in this field.
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What do you talk about during a Celebration Day for Girls?As the experiences of puberty and menstruation are not only physical, but also emotional, social, cultural, and for many spiritual, we have a wide variety of conversations during the Celebration Day which weave in and out of the day’s activities. These include: Seasons and cycles of life Exploring stories and practices from different times and cultures for a healthy dose of cultural relativism Practical ways to manage menstruation at school, at home and elsewhere The physiology and biochemistry of the menstrual cycle, hormones, menstrual blood (how much, what is it? and so on) Pads and tampons, disposable and reusable pads, cups and underwear Puberty, body changes and emotions Feelings about starting to menstruate Mother’s menarche stories Girls and women supporting each other And more depending on girls’ questions, concerns and curiosity.
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Does the adult who comes to the Celebration Day has to be her mother?No. While mothers clearly have a key role for their daughters during puberty and as they begin to menstruate it is not always possible for them to accompany their daughter to A Celebration Day for Girls. In this case a grandmother, aunt, close family friend or carer can step in and share the Celebration Day with their special girl.
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What if the girl lives with her dad, can he bring her to the Celebration Day?We honour the special role fathers have in their daughter’s life and the importance of their support during puberty and adolescence - a Celebration Day for Girls is a female only event. If you are a father raising your daughter on your own you may like to speak with your daughter about who she would like to have accompany her, or speak with a female relative or friend who can then invite your girl to A Celebration Day for Girls. Either way this will be a special event for her and she can tell you all about it when she comes home (or not).
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Should I let my daughter decide if she wants to come to the workshop or just say we’re going?For some girls it is difficult to imagine what could be fun about spending a day focused on puberty and menstruation and for others the idea is intriguing. In our experience all girls of this age group have a fun day, with this firm foundation spreading benefits well into their future. We have found that even the most reluctant girls relax and settle within a short time and all leave with a new confidence and comfort with themselves and their changing bodies, as well as a great mutually-supportive ‘womanly’ bond with their mother or female carer. Many mothers present the Celebration Day for Girls as a non-negotiable event and others prefer to ask their daughter if she wants to attend. Whatever your situation you are welcome to talk this through with Victoria, your facilitator for the day. “My daughter was full of enthusiasm and confidence the evening after the workshop and was desperate to remember and tell every little detail that she had experienced … a great change from the apprehensive daughter I dropped off in the morning.” Ingrid
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Can we have a Celebration Day for just the girls in my daughter’s class?Yes, absolutely. Facilitators frequently hold ‘private’ Celebration Days for class and friendship groups as well as Celebration Days which are open to girls from different schools and localities. For a class group the Celebration Day can be a wonderful shared experience as they begin to traverse this special time of life together. The Celebration Day can strengthen the bond between girls who already know each other, and is a unique opportunity for them to explore these topics in a fun and safely held way. Often we have girls’ female teachers join us for the afternoon session with mothers and daughters. From experience ‘public’ Celebration Days often do have girls who know each other or are related, however this isn’t necessary and our facilitators are skilled at creating a warm, safe and connected space for the day. In this case girls are frequently excited about sharing their experience of the day with their sisters, friends and schoolmates, as well as vowing to stay in touch with their new friends from the Celebration Day.
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The topic is covered within my daughter’s school curriculum why should I consider bringing her to a Celebration Day for Girls?While some form of ‘health and human development’ curriculum is available in most schools and is likely to cover the rudiments of reproduction and the menstrual cycle this is a far removed from the intent and content of A Celebration Day for Girls. A Celebration Day for Girls can add many unique and special elements even if your daughter has already had numerous school sessions on puberty. These include: the opportunity for relaxed and spacious conversation and questions, a whole girls-only day, a sense of the wonder, beauty and interconnectedness of nature in contrast to a mechanical ‘plumbing’ approach, conversation and connection between girls and girls and their mothers and, not least, fun and celebration! Research with older teens found that the most valuable input for girls around the time of their first period is emotional support, with practical understanding and information about reproductive biology running distant second and third. With this awareness we focus on connection, normalisation, safety and comfort.
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A Celebration Day can’t really be a celebration of my daughter’s Menarche as we don’t know when that will be. So what exactly are we celebrating?Absolutely right. The exact timing of your daughter’s menarche is unknown, unless it’s already happened of course. During a Celebration Day for Girls we are celebrating being a girl, and the wonders of our female bodies. For many girls the day acts as an awakening to a new awareness of the importance of, and pride in, these changes and her emerging womanly body. The celebration is also a beautiful bonding for mothers and daughters around their own shared and age-specific experiences. At the end of the day participants may express what the celebration has been for them in slightly different ways, however the feedback we receive is that everyone is nourished, warmed and energised by the experience.
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I'm not sure if this is for us; my daughter might not be interested.If you're unsure about the workshop's suitability for you and your daughter, rest assured that our program is designed to be inclusive. Whether your daughter is young or a teenager, and regardless of your relationship dynamics, the workshop offers a broad range of activities and insights suitable for everyone. Engaging daughters in the workshop is a priority. Our activities are designed to be enjoyable and meaningful for daughters of various ages and interests. Moreover, the day is crafted to spark curiosity and create moments that resonate with each participant.
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Can I bring my daughter to Fathers Celebrating Daughters?No, Fathers Celebrating Daughters is a workshop for fathers to attend only. And it doesn't matter how old you daughter is. We have had fathers of 2 years old daughters to late teen daughters that have attended Fathers Celebrating Daughters. We have a program especially for fathers called Fathers Celebrating Daughters. At this program you can join with other men to learn more about how best to support, and nurture your daughter’s healthy development through puberty and adolescence. All while maintaining your uniquely important connection with her.
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What can I expect during a menstrual cycle coaching session?A settling in, a check-in, exploration and focus time, transition to end the session. The sessions are co-created by the menstrual coach AND the client.
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How often do I need to have the sessions with a menstrual cycle coach?Once a week, to explore the different phases of YOUR menstrual cycle; repeating the process over three months to gain deeper insights with each cycle; allowing for pattern emergence and recognition.
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What topics are covered in menstrual cycle coaching sessions?The topics will be emergent depending on what you bring during the sessions. We will explore your needs, anatomy, interconnected physiology, nervous system, pain science, menstrual shame and its politics, along with tools to develop ongoing menstrual cycle awareness as we age, and more.
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Will menstrual cycle coaching help me understand my body better?Definitely. Menstrual cycle coaching will support you to develop a respectful relationship with your body. We look at the female reproductive system anatomy and its interconnectedness with the rest of the body.
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Can menstrual cycle coaching help with menstrual irregularities or disorders?Menstrual cycle coaching can help by bringing awareness, education and being witnessed and believed in your experience. It has had powerful effects on women that had suffered from PMDD. Our menstrual cycle is our feedback loop and by listening inwards, we are able to make adjustments to our beliefs and the way we connect with our bodies; creating a positive chain reaction for our overall wellbeing.
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Is menstrual cycle coaching confidential?Yes. If you are under 18, I will have to communicate with your parents. The only time I would break confidentiality is if I feel that you are in danger AND I will always let you know beforehand if I need to break confidentiality.
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Can menstrual cycle coaching help with fertility awareness and family planning?Yes, it can help. Although you may prefer to see a trained professional for this.
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Is menstrual cycle coaching suitable for individuals with medical conditions affecting their menstrual cycle?Yes, it can be beneficial. Menstrual cycle coaching alone won't fix the medical conditions that affect their menstrual cycle but it is an emotional support modality towards wellness.
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How does menstrual cycle coaching integrate with other aspects of health and wellness?Menstrual cycle coaching helps you to connect with your inbuilt feedback loop that is your menstrual cycle. The cues sent by your body will help you make choices that will benefit your physical, emotional and mental health. Menstrual cycle coaching can help with anxiety, confidence, shame, self-esteem and body confidence, communication, boundaries, body literacy, sexualisation, assertiveness, self talk, personality changes and self advocacy.
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Can I do menstrual cycle coaching remotely or online?Yes. The sessions are held on Zoom or face-to-face if you can travel to Falmouth, Cornwall. You decide what is best for you to access this service.
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What are the long-term benefits of incorporating menstrual cycle awareness into my life through coaching?Menstrual cycle awareness is not just for our menstruating years. This body awareness will support you through conceiving and motherhood if you choose to, through the perimenopausal and menopausal years. I see menstrual cycle awareness as an apprenticeship that will benefit my postmenopausal years as well.
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Cycles of Influence
Zooming out to better zoom in on systems at play in our lives that influences our menstrual cycle living. Containing thoughts, teachings, beliefs and rants with resources, links and a few PSs.
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